courtesy Ofelia www.ofeliamadariaga.blogspot.com
Andrades
cultural response to rape and sexual abuse
Writer Vanessa Veselka, published in 1999 in Bitch Magazine
Vanessa is a woman of remarkable intelligence, thought and culture , who offers a profound analysis and unusual in about the cultural response to rape and sexual abuse. Vanessa (who passed through this experience) is qualified to comment (brilliantly) on the differences between the stereotype and the real life and also raise awareness of the lack of reflection and the danger they are the basis of these stereotypes. Note: USA, is another culture, but still there are things in Chile apply. ----------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------
The Collapsible Woman / La Mujer Collapsible
Collapsible Woman -a mental health model for countless individuals / ace. She is too weak to hear debate, too soft to talk openly about their experience, and too fragile to expect much from it. This definition does not come close to account for the character and strength that can be found between us / you. Instead, shows how humorless and diluted, and has a similarity too close to the Victorian woman sick. And now, as then, when a total frailty model is held as a virtue, women live with that image for lack of alternatives. "Collapse," she whispered. "We will be there to support you." And if you do not call us when ready. Any work on the issue of rape and abuse gives the same view of women is collapsible. We see the same struggle for health and purity and the very image of life after the cathartic process of renewal. The stories of "survivors" are below the holders reminding us that we are marked forever. This can be seen as support or as a culture of victimization, but neither of the two positions gives us too. There must be something better than the "prize" to be called / or survivor, an alternative to the role of neurotic / or harassed by pain.
There is a difference between sound vulnerability, which is the ability to trust and to endure the inevitable wounds of emotional closeness, and the deification of fragility. The latter offers us nothing more than a religion in which the pinnacle of holiness is the ability to break and collapse at any time for any thing, and call it a return to health mental. I'm not questioning the real emotions, nightmares, tears and pain, is the inviolable right of every / a man / a. But it is to misunderstand this, we get to show the ideal of "recovery" to a woman who can not go to the store without their "business" trigger "? Sure, there are days, sometimes months in the life of anyone who has been raped or when the need for self protection from the harsh outside world is absolute. We need, yes, having more than a life without skin (quite exposed and sensitive) at some point.
What young woman confronting her past for the first time, you can observe an adult woman tsp sensitivity is so sharp that you can not socialize normally and should be wrapped in cotton emotional to feel "safe" in the most basic human encounters? Perhaps she will not say "I want to be that?" Does she get to see the good terms with his past as a desirable step toward maturity? No, she probably build fortress walls to pass through instead of the necessary defenses and confidence are strong. With all the media coverage and attention given to victims of rape in recent years, we still lack models that praise women to continue with their lives rather than endure.
As a culture, we say to girls from birth that rape is the worst thing that might happen. We tell them destroy their lives and lose their sense of purity. We do it because it's true, and we are trying to prepare them to not feel so alone when it happens. But do not we are ready to be destroyed and feel dirty and impure? Are not we training to collapse? The convenient use of words such as "Survivor" and "victim" does not actually change the messages we give. While there is an upside for the rape and abuse that can be emphasized, we say the truth, a greater truth. We say, "This will destroy your life for a while ," or "sometimes you feel dirty / o." But we do not, and we are left with the impression that there are no other healthy responses than collapsing . It is as if seeing beyond the trauma and negating the impact.
is expected that a raped woman collapses, not only privately, she must break publicly against friends, against professionals, in front of Starbucks. Sate our desire for Roman Coliseum-style tragedy. We encourage our / as gladiators / as for his bravery while being destroyed in the sand. If a woman chooses not to act according to stereotype victim, but who has her own private way, we say that is "in denial." If not we say that fragment is not coping with it. We do not respect women who set limits and say "no colapsare for you." Or treat them as if they had emotions or minimize the importance of their experience of rape / abuse because it does not tell us their personal dark nights.
The belief that a cathartic experience is necessary for mental health and healing must be questioned. I've seen some women to push themselves, trying to trigger an attack of nerves, and in turn, become trapped in neurotic fears. I have seen the relief that follows the catharsis be replaced by the anxious feeling that the revelation was not deep enough, I've watched women blame themselves for their inability to break down. Instead of being praised for their willingness not to break, they are intended as "not yet ready." In this way, put the blame for the suffering of the victim's back. He turns his lack not being sufficiently developed spiritually to collapse. Until the collapse, she can not forgive and to forgive, never be fully healed. The collapse has become a goal in itself.
Otrxs escritorxs complaints have been released Similar rhetoric about recovery. Unfortunately, they think ellxs muchxs of sexual abuse and rape are problems oversized women simply have to overcome, so that / theoretically lead them to fall - instead of making-good questions. In The Morning After, Katie Roiphe implies that increased awareness about rape and perpetuate the victimization itself. At no point does it give rise to human experience or compassion, and therefore his argument ends up being nothing more than surface positions and common sense theories that seek to impact. Not that his thoughts have any merit, but as so grossly exposed, it is easy to overlook its few valid claims. For example, she says, correctly, that there is an eerie similarity to what she called s "The Tale of the victim," but then she assumes, ignorantly, that the common syntax means insincerity. But a shared narrative style is not sufficient evidence that the content is negligible: Millions of Catholics and Catholics recite the Apostles' Creed, while some repeat it from memory, others find it a powerful experience. Given the wording of Roiphe approach is not surprising that feminists have rejected the fully intelligent. While I do not agree to any way with his main argument that so-called "rape crisis Feminists / feminist rape crisis" are a bigger problem than the rapists, the observation that the debate about the abuse can be destroyed simply by saying, "You do not understand, "is smart and needs reflection.
defense behind that phrase is the implication that a woman has been raped or harassed is too weak to hear an opposing view. If the question to a woman severely traumatized about their particular methods of coping is tactless and probably cruel, assuming that we are unable to manage the debate on a broader level is worse is degrading. Any dialogue that automatically suppress dissent on the grounds that it is too painful to continue is no dialogue, but a way of manipulating the debate. Desperately need to expand the range of responses and considered healthy for survivors of abuse. Right now, we have the model of collapse and have your shadow, repression. If you are not collapsed, these repressed. Point.
The way out of this predicament is to discover and create new images for women and the impact of the violation. But before we talk about introducing new images, we must first examine how we experience it.
If you have been raped or abused, this scarred for life. You will never be as you were before that experience. This is also true when we fall in love, break our hearts, we go to war, we have a / a child, or read a great book. All that cuts deeply into our brand. Be "marked / or lifetime" is the defining characteristic of a person who has been raped, we are all / as marked / as for life the minute that we interact closely with the outside world. The difference is the nature of the injury.
posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD acronym in English) is a system whereby the brain represses a memory, if available, could destroy a person's mental health. While not all victims of sexual abuse and rape have it, and is common among survivors. When the system is intact, makes it possible to work every day without becoming totally disabled. When it begins to fail, the person may become temporarily catatonic or be brought back to the period of trauma. However, women who have been abused are not the only large group that suffer from PTSD, is also common in veterans / war ace. Looking at both groups, a predominantly female and one male-dominated, can illuminate the gender bias about trauma, PTSD, and recovery. The
/ veterans as / as do not have any way easier for abused women. They had to fight hard to overcome the image of carton-crazy Vietnam veteran but some progress has been made. films like Born on the Fourth of July and others have effectively introduced a new image of the veterans. Today, when we see a dramatic film veterans often are strong, deep characters, those who command respect. At some point, tell the story of how he overcame and went through their experience of being in a war. Often, they tell the support of other veterans. Image pop veteran is a man who, despite being marked, has found healing and dignity. In the real world, when we meet someone who was in Vietnam, we often have a quiet sense of respect for the horrors they have seen. We give place, with deference to their broader human experience. But when we meet a woman who has been sexually abused or raped, that complex sense of respect is reduced to hurt, or the impulse to protect her like a child. She was not given the same dignity or honor to have gone through similar terrain.
All acts of violence to change our lives are also acts of treason. The violation is treason. Sexual abuse treason. Realize that your country is able to vast atrocities is treason. At this point, our cultural vocabulary includes an image of a veteran who, though he may have gone through an episode of fragmentation, it has emerged stronger and, perhaps, more human. We have no images for women and raped. We do not expect them to feel safe without concerted mental effort and a protected environment. Simple logic tells us that people who have been under fire and seen other people would blow up an issue with security as intense as people raped or abused, but still tend to judge their ability to separate standards. While some of that bias (prejudice) can be attributed to old stereotypes that calls men and women Fuertes sensitive, that does not account for everything. Both rape and violence involving traumatic war. In recent years, feminists have led the fight to show rape as an act of violence, not lust. While it has been difficult and necessary, it is missing something important. The real problem is that we treat rape as sex, but treat it as theft.
Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines forced sex rape as well as theft, "theft and looting," to be exact. That is, a raped woman is the victim of theft. Not only were raped, we say. You were sacked. Something of intrinsic value was stolen. The fervent belief that this is true is evident everywhere. From traditional cultures that treat rape as a monetary loss to the progressive movements that speak in terms of "call back" to the same and "own" the experience, consistently used the language of theft. We say to a woman clearly and loudly that if she was sexually violated has been stolen, and that the stolen items were the purity and innocence. With the best intentions, even if we say, "What Sorry for your loss. "I ask you to" claim "their experience, instead of dares account of the effects. The truth is, if you've been raped or abused, nothing will have been stolen. The low-life/la did little to throw away his soul, but yours is intact. While we cling to the concept of abuse such as rape or robbery, in case this leads us back to the belief that the value and sense of self of a woman lying on her sexual purity. While the artifacts "stolen" are defining virtues, we can talk about his condition only in terms of taking over and loss. The imply that deep within every woman there is something essential that can be seen or touched, a container containing his real self that can be stolen by someone else, is an absolute objectification of women.
much as we need to rethink our cultural definitions of rape, rape as violence reframe is well intentioned, and intuitive, is limited, difficult and inadequate. All those involved know we're supposed to think that rape is pure violence, but, however much we try, the closest we get is a violent sexual act. There are good reasons for this. When someone is attacked violently, but not sexually, he or she naturally feels invaded, but the feeling of invasion is more metaphorical than physical. Anyone who is raped / a, however, is invaded / a. Someone else is within you. It is not a metaphor. Is real. The violation is then forced intimacy as well as violence. We can not see it as a crime not because it is not sexual. Some violations are motivated by the desire for power through violence and others are motivated by lust and selfish rationalization. Either way, the act itself involves sex. When you are raped, not a single attack, is a complete violation of both body and sex with an ugly reminder of millennia of subjugation of women.
Unfortunately, until we change it, these are the messages we have and we have to deal with them. Women feel really stolen, and that's real. Society treats us as amputees and distributes the same condescending pat on the back: "You walk really well for someone with no legs." Thank you?, Though the talk of sexual abuse or rape has become more acceptable in the past 15 years, is still acceptable only when it adopts a specific tone, testimonial. As strange as it is, this is less of a victim than the listeners. The palpable discomfort of buddies / as often makes it difficult to speak. You do not want them when they talk of slumps book you just read, even if the topics are related. The problem is not that we are so sensitive that end up in a group hug sharing tears instead of ending conversation. The problem is that image of a woman who has been raped be nothing more than leave a void when you open your mouth and say, "I was sexually abused."
The biggest obstacle to the introduction of new models of response rape are acceptable to our own good intentions. After years of hearing, "Get over it," the doctrines that encourage us to be soft and girls have been a welcome change. One point, however, in which the softening to the same can no longer be a relief and become a debilitating obsession. Unfortunately, the meanings of words like strong and weak have become as caramel, which only discussing a new direction for our response is full of unintended political bias. Today, in the culture of self-help, a strong person is someone who signs their emotional weakness and a weak person is someone who hides behind fortress walls. This type of talk therapy group has become its own dogma and can make the debate confusing at best. And, at worst, impossible.
Basically, USA loves stoicism. Romance fill the role of hero who does not cry, even when we know there are better things. In many ways, is the heart of our national identity. defined the ideal American to the 50s, and affects us all. We have tried to kill him in therapy, or trample under the heel of the sensitized but was bred in us. On the surface represents the brutal mentality that does not stop at nothing and disconnect with the emotions as if they were sound on the radio, and still can not shake us, because under this ode to the repression lies something much more powerful. Within each story of John Wayne is the message that we can survive anything. I said, you have to make compromises, so you can pass through without letting it break you. Although the packaging is insane, the message itself is something of value.
The limited imagination of some feminists of the '80s brought us a model of power female was nothing more than the mirror image of the man of the '50s. Adopted only the poor packaging of power-hungry aggressor, rather than the more discreet message of survival. Under the banner "Now my turn," women who use men for reasons of status and to reaffirm the ego, or heartless policies flourished in office, they were endowed with glory feminist. Even when such positions were clearly divorced from any real movement for social change, the act of replicating the tactics of repression and USA stereotypical male was seen by some as a political stop. The bravado sanctify who are really pure appearance was a powerful shortcut to imagine a more powerful woman. He allowed irrelevant statements like "But I wear lipstick / But I wear lipstick" seemed distracted topics of interest to women in a myriad of issues of major importance.
Unfortunately, sexually abused or raped women, unconvinced by the current images of the recovery often fall into this pattern of repression and false toughness. Who will be blamed if the only option "positive" presented is one that promises a total collapse and the continued absence of skin (ie the brink of a nervous breakdown permanent)? The brazen and arrogant bravado of a poor girl who is afraid of its own emotions is a sad testimony to how little is offered to her as a possible solution.
There was a scene in a movie. I think it was Mi Vida Loca, in which a young man approaches another who had scrubbed completely and says "be a male" and to take care. Instead of macha being the twin male , gross, here is more of Yiddish mensch : Defend. It is human / a. Shows dignity. the command to be a male then gets a call from a woman to another and find their courage to rise above whatever is trying to destroy it without losing your pride. Unfortunately we have no language in our current dialogue on rape and abuse to send us this message from us. Our story takes us to interpret a declaration and an order to feel anything and accomplish things (ie pressure, no support). Automatically assumes that vulnerability, compassion, and the need trust others has no place in this way of thinking because they relate to bully model of female strength borrowed from the men of the '50s.
The question is then how to disentangle the powerful call to be the expectation macha cruel and insensitive to bullying and repression. In a cultural context that glorifies the iron will of / the individual or even the enter the model with macha devastated image of women sexually abused and raped hard. We are culturally trained traditionally to see those ideals as opposed to model and interpret the "stronger," stereotypically masculine and preferred. Paradoxically, the culture of self-help, we are trained to get rid of the model "stronger" and promote the devastated traditionally feminine for this emotional display. This polarization is an unnecessary construct, sometimes both are a natural response to a traumatic experience. What I am suggesting is that we expand the range to include more representative of our true potential.
need to articulate a new vision that matches the feminine strength not to repression and bravado, but with compassion and strength. During the '50s, the middle-class women were separated from their sisters, aunts, and grandmothers to meet the isolation in the suburbs. This house which contained the homeowner was away from his family defended the right of the modern woman. Instead happened to be a legacy of silence and Valium. The unique recovery model of sexual abuse and rape that requires a woman to live in a cocoon of self-obsession and call it a safe environment has the same potential for social isolation.
also has an eerie resemblance to the mentality of "separate spheres" that the early feminists fought so much to destroy. In the Victorian era, for example, was popular to be sick. There were even fainting sofas (fainting couches), furniture designed for collapse. The idea was visibly fading away because it was better to be praised by a tragic weakness not to be recognized for anything.
Again, the weakness is in vogue. I am not suggesting that periods of extreme vulnerability have been orchestrated or are not sincere. Idealize a state of emotional collapse, rather than the force necessary to overcome it, women trapped in the belief that overcoming the trauma is heresy. We must be able to look in the each other and say, "Be a macho / macha is a," and know that means, "cry with you, take your hand and give you time. But I will watch you while you sleep. "Until we can whisper the Indeed, nothing was stolen, that was a lie, and to honor women for both his compassion and courage, will not stop us back. We will always be women collapsible.
Vanessa Veselka is a music of 29-year-old and a writer who believes the public ranting and thinking clearly are human rights, despite having been slandered, can sometimes go hand in hand.
Number for Victims of Violent Crimes in Chile All
600-818-1000
0 comments:
Post a Comment