Consent (Sexual)
The idea of \u200b\u200bconsent must be explicit for clarity on what the other / a / os / as they want or not do sexually, is that the idea to ask is "how rare" also may seem risky, it involves responsibility (and if she says no, I can not do / the idiot / a) ...
Y if you are a fan / to the touch and go, often the questions do not go beyond what music escuchai?.
the idea of \u200b\u200bresponsibility now sounds more than pesky, sounds like history homework, get up early and a lot of things that really are not done for pleasure but out of duty ...
Now, what is gained by asking ? Clarity and certainty that we act ethically and can also increase communication that can ultimately improve the powder, and two-way thing is what you want to ask you for your consent? Well is a sign of affectionate respect, which means that he / possible lover of the night is careful to maintain a relationship free of abuse explicitly.
Seek consent is sexual and kindness can make the difference between a / a moron / a and a / a good lover.
below includes some questions to think about consent taken from the fanzine support available soon in the Library / Library and Bazaar in Goddesses Purisima 251, Room 2 at La Morada. Barrio Bellavista.
The Fanzine support was created by Cindy Crabb an American activist who works to spread the issue of sexual consent and survival in situations of abuse, and is given the job of compiling and translating this material.
"This list of questions will collect in the hopes that would help people to think deeply and help start conversations about consent. I know it's a long list, and not all have good or bad answers, but please read it and honestly think about these questions, one by one. " 1. How define consent?
2. Have you talked, sometimes, with your partner (s) or with friends as on consent?
3. Do you know, or have had sex with someone who defines consent in a manner different from you?
4. Have you ever been unsure whether the person wanted to do what they were doing during sex? Did you talk about it? Do you ignore it in the hope that change? Did you continue what you were doing because it gave pleasure and did not want to deal with what I was feeling the other person? Did you continue because you did not want to doubt the other person? Did you continue because you thought it was your duty? How do you feel about the decisions you made?
5. Do you think it is the responsibility of the other person say something if you do not like what you're doing?
6. How could anyone say that what is happening is not right?
7. Only " seek verbal signs or other signals, too?
8. Do you think it is possible to misinterpret silence, thinking it is consent?
9. Have you ever asked someone if it's hard to verbalize when something feels wrong, you should look for signs?
10. questions "Only this kind of thing in a serious relationship, or feel comfortable talking in a fortuitous situation, too?
11. You think about ruining the mood?
12. Do you think that consent may be erotic?
13. Do you think the stories of abuse of people?
14. Do you questions as things progress, or suppose that the original consent mean that all is well?
15. When you manage to get permission once, suppose that after is always right?
16. If someone agrees to something, you assume that everything else is fine, or questions before touching someone differently or take things at a more intense?
17. Do you feel uncomfortable with people they want or need to talk about abuse?, why?
18. Looking for friends with people because you want sex with them afterwards and then let these friendships if the person is not interested in you sexually?
19. Looking for sex with someone even after they have said they just want to be friends?
20. Do you suppose that if someone shows affection are probably interested in you sexually?
21. Do you think of love, sexuality, and personal boundaries? Do you talk about these issues with people? If so, do you speak about these issues only when they want to have sex with someone or talk about them because they think they are important and really want to know?
22. Are you clear / a on your own intentions?
23. Have you ever tried to convince someone about which wavered?
24. Do you think the hesitation is a way of flirting?
25. Are you aware that sometimes it is not?
26. Do you think that if people are promiscuous means you are either objectively, / as, or talk about themselves as a way that would not normally do?
27. Do you think that if a person is promiscuous is less important to have consent?
28. Do you think that if a person dresses a certain way, it's okay to objectify / a?
29. If someone dresses in a way you think it means they want your sexual attention or your approval?
30. Do you understand there may be many other reasons that have nothing to do with you, why that person might want to dress or act in a way you might find sexy?
31. Think it's your responsibility or your role to overcome the hesitation of another person by giving little importance and pressing / a?
32. Have you tried asking someone how you feel? When they do, what / to respect and listen.
33. Have you tried, once, creating a situation that gave you the excuse to touch someone you think would say no if you asked? For example, dancing, getting drunk around that person, falling asleep next to someone, etc..
My personal most hated
34. Do you make people feel `` not-funny''or `` no- released''if they want to prove certain sexual things? Or as he once told me "I carry mine cartridge."
35. Do you feel that being in a relationship with someone, have an obligation to have sex with you?
36. And if you want to abstain from sex for a week? A month? A year?
37. whining or threats "if you're taking the number or type of sex want?
38. Do you think it is good to do something sexual with someone who is sleeping?
39. What if that person is your partner?
40. You think it's important to talk to them first as soon as they are awake?
41. Do you see, of Occasionally, such as your interactions with people or treat them positively or negatively, and where it comes from / where did you learn?
42. Do you act differently when you've been drinking?
43. What are the positive aspects of drinking for you? What are the negative aspects of drinking for you?
44. Have you been sexual with people while these drunk or when they / as they were drunk / as? Did you feel, sometimes, embarrassment or discomfort about it the next day? Does the person you ever slept acted weird to you later?
45. Looking consent in the same way when you're drunk that when you're sober / a?
46. You think it's important to speak the next day with the person who has been sexually affective / a if there was alcohol involved? If not, is because it's uncomfortable or because you think something might have happened should not happen? Is it being just the way things are?
47. Do you think people should take things more lightly?
48. Do you think these questions are repressive and people looking critically at their sexual histories and their way of being normal are conventional and should be released / as?
49. Do you think that the release may be different for different people?
50. How do you react if someone is upset by what you're doing, or do not want to do something? Do you become defensive? Do you feel guilty? Does it end the other person having to take care and be safe, or are able to take a step back and listen, girls and support them, girls and take responsibility for your actions?
51. Would you say you version of the story and try to change the way in which they lived the situation?
52. Do you do things to show your partner you are listening and that you are interested in their ideas about consent or their ideas about what you did?
53. Do you talk about sex and consent when you're in bed?
54. Have you ever violated or abused or tampered with someone sexually? Are you able to think about your behavior? Have you made changes? What kind of changes?
55. Do you feel uncomfortable with your body or your sexuality?
56. have you been abused to sexually?
57. Your own discomfort or your own history of abuse has caused you to act being misused? If so, could you talk about it with someone? Do you think that talking about it would help?
58. Do you avoid talking about the consent or abuse because you're not ready to or because they want to talk about your own sexual abuse?
59. Do you sometimes feel forced to have sex?
60. Do you sometimes feel obliged / a to initiate sex?
61. What if the days, months or years later, someone tells workers they were uncomfortable with what you did? Do / as subject?
62. "initiate conversations about safe sex and contraception (if applicable)?
63. Do you think that something as vague as "I recently reviewed" is enough?
64. Do you take your partners concerns about safe sex and / or contraception seriously?
65. Do you think that if a person wants to have safe sex and the other does not care, it is the responsibility of the person providing the items you care about safe sex?
A friend of mine thinks that there should be a special place in hell for men who do not want to use condoms:
66. Do you think that if a person has a body that can become pregnant and do not want it, you have to focus solely on providing the means for contraception? Do you complain or deny safe sex or type of contraception that your partner wants to use because it reduces your pleasure? Do you try to manipulate your partner about these issues?
67. Do you think that only men abuse?
68. Do you think that a relationship between people of the same gender, only the person abused is more manly?
69. Do you think that there is ongoing work we can do to end sexual violence in our communities?