By Chris Somerville
SUPPORT Taken from fanzine on sale in the Bazaar or by Internet Goddesses http://www.dorisdorisdoris.com/zinecatag.html .
If you decide to have sex with someone. Congratulations! You are very brave. Now the trick is to figure have sex in a way that is not destructive to you or your partner. The first decision is whether or not to tell your partner that you are being abused. You may not feel secure enough that you know everything. What you choose to tell, though much whatever you want to reveal, you must be very skilled to examine first the waters and see where they begin to leak information. For example, explaining that they want certain things about sex because they are a provocative or need to set certain limits on sex. If he is inquisitive in the way they react when you tell the story is likely to ask more questions and from there you can decide how secure you feel about talking about those things. If you do not feel safe to talk about it then maybe you should not have sex with that person. You need to connect with your power and set your boundaries with your new partner before having sex in a relationship or if you're in an initial sexual phase.
If you do or you may end up participating in a nasty sex scene and feel unable to talk about it.
A particular power dynamic is that we simply do not feel able to have sex. There will be times when you do not want to have sex and your partner if, or perhaps you want to have sex in your mind but your body will not allow it.
This is frustrating for any person, but vital to pay attention to these messages and accept them. If you intend to ignore that pressure can be your partner or yourself can cause you serious harm. SEX SEX IS NOT JUST FOR U.S.. If you have been abused / or your sexual relationship will be like for someone who has not suffered.
For fellow victims I have something to say, if you want to have sex and your partner does not feel the same, no matter what it may seem sudden, leave it alone. Try not to feel rejected because this is not for you, do not key in your hate, not angry. Is not the point to be near this person? Ask yourself what would happen if you had A orgasm had sex it hurt and relive the trauma in the other? That should be obvious.
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